Child Therapists Archives - The New Hope MHCS https://www.thenewhopemhcs.com/tag/child-therapists/ Mon, 20 May 2024 07:00:42 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.0 https://www.thenewhopemhcs.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/cropped-TNHMS-Logo-32x32.png Child Therapists Archives - The New Hope MHCS https://www.thenewhopemhcs.com/tag/child-therapists/ 32 32 Discussing With Your Children About Separation https://www.thenewhopemhcs.com/discussing-with-your-children-about-separation/ Mon, 20 May 2024 06:04:20 +0000 https://www.thenewhopemhcs.com/?p=8109

Discussing With Your Children About Separation

Navigating separation is undoubtedly challenging, especially when children are involved. As parents, we often find ourselves grappling with how to approach this delicate subject with our little ones. However, having an open and honest conversation about separation can help alleviate their worries and uncertainties. In this blog post, we’ll explore some essential tips for discussing separation with your children in a compassionate and understanding manner.

Choose the Right Time and Place

Timing is crucial when it comes to discussing separation with your children. During the conversation about separation with your children, it’s important to consider the optimal time and setting to ensure a constructive dialogue. Pick a time when everyone is calm and relaxed, preferably when there are minimal distractions. This ensures that your children can focus on the conversation and express their emotions freely.

 

The environment should be comfortable and private, providing a safe space for open communication. Choosing a quiet and private setting demonstrates to your children that their thoughts and feelings are valued and respected. Whether it’s a quiet corner of your home or a peaceful outdoor setting, the goal is to create an atmosphere where your children feel secure and supported.

Be Honest and Age-Appropriate

When discussing separation with your children, honesty is key. It’s essential to be transparent while considering your children’s age and maturity level. Using age-appropriate language and concepts helps ensure that your children understand the situation without feeling overwhelmed.

 

Avoid providing unnecessary details or assigning blame, as this can lead to confusion and resentment. Instead, focus on providing clear and honest explanations that address their questions and concerns. By being honest with your children, you foster trust and encourage open communication.

Reassure Them of Your Love

During the conversation about separation, it’s essential to reassure your children of your unwavering love for them. Let them know that despite the changes happening in the family, your love remains constant and unconditional. Assure them that the separation is not their fault, emphasizing that it’s a decision made by the adults and doesn’t reflect on their worth or behavior.

 

Use comforting language to convey that both parents will continue to be present in their lives, albeit in different capacities. Encourage your children to ask questions and express their feelings openly. Remind them that it’s natural to feel a range of emotions during this time and that you’re there to support them every step of the way.

Listen Empathetically

Giving your children the space to express their thoughts and feelings about the separation is crucial for their emotional well-being. Listen to them empathetically, without interrupting or passing judgment. Create a safe and supportive environment where they feel comfortable sharing their concerns.

 

Validate their emotions by acknowledging their feelings and letting them know that it’s okay to feel sad, anger issues, or confused. Reassure them that their feelings are valid and that you’re there to help them navigate through this challenging time. Avoid dismissing or downplaying their emotions, as this can lead to feelings of invalidation and mistrust.

Maintain Routine and Stability

During times of separation, maintaining a sense of routine and stability is crucial for your children’s well-being. Amidst the changes brought about by separation, strive to stick to established schedules for meals, bedtime, and activities. Consistency provides your children with a sense of security and predictability, which can help alleviate anxiety during this uncertain time.

 

Establishing and maintaining routines also helps children feel a sense of normalcy and control amidst the changes happening in their family dynamic. Encourage open communication and flexibility within the routine, but emphasize the importance of maintaining key elements. This consistency can serve as a stabilizing force as your children adjust to the changes in their family.

Encourage Expression Through Creative Outlets

Encouraging your children to express themselves through creative outlets can be an effective way to help them cope with the challenges of separation. Providing opportunities for artistic expression, such as drawing, painting, or writing, allows children to externalize their emotions and process their feelings in a healthy manner.

 

Art therapy, in particular, can be a beneficial tool for children experiencing emotional distress due to separation. Through art, they can explore their thoughts and emotions in a non-verbal way, allowing for deeper self-reflection and insight. Additionally, creative activities can serve as a form of distraction and relaxation, helping to alleviate stress and anxiety.

 

As a parent, you can support your children’s creative expression by providing them with art supplies, encouraging them to explore different mediums, and participating in creative activities together. By engaging in these activities, you not only foster a sense of connection and bonding but also create opportunities for meaningful conversations about their experiences and feelings.

 

Remember, every child is unique, so it’s essential to pay attention to their individual preferences and interests. Whether it’s painting, writing stories, or composing music, the key is to provide a supportive environment where children feel empowered to express themselves authentically.

Seek Professional Support if Needed

If you notice that your children are struggling to cope with the challenges of separation, don’t hesitate to seek professional support. Child therapists or counselors can provide them with the tools and guidance they need to navigate their emotions and adjust to the changes effectively.

 

Mental health counseling or therapy can offer a safe space for your children to express their feelings and work through any difficulties they may be experiencing. Qualified professionals can provide tailored support to help your children cope with the emotional impact of separation and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

If you’re unsure where to start, consider reaching out to a mental health clinic or counselor specializing in children’s mental health. Their expertise can offer invaluable support to your children and help them thrive despite the challenges they’re facing.

Conclusion:

Navigating separation as a family can be emotionally challenging, particularly when children are involved. Often, when parents are face with the difficult decision to separate, they are hurt, disappointed, angry, and fearful of their future. However, by approaching the conversation with openness, honesty, and compassion, parents can help alleviate their children’s worries and uncertainties.

 

Choosing the right time and place to discuss separation is crucial, ensuring that children feel safe and supported to express their emotions freely. Being honest with children in an age-appropriate manner fosters trust and encourages open communication, while reassuring them of your unwavering love provides much-needed comfort during this transition.

 

Listening empathetically to children’s thoughts and feelings about the separation validates their emotions and helps them feel understood and supported. Maintaining routine and stability amidst the changes provides a sense of security and predictability, aiding in alleviating anxiety.

 

However, if children are struggling to cope, seeking professional support is essential. The New Hope Mental Health Counselling Services offers a range of comprehensive mental health services by a diverse group of licensed clinicians trained to address various life experiences. From anger management to trauma therapy, our clinic provides tailored support to help children navigate the emotional impact of separation and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

 

At The New Hope Mental Health Counselling Services , we employ an eclectic approach, utilizing medication therapy when necessary, to address conditions like ADHD, anxiety, bipolar disorder, depression, and other mood disorders. With our support, children can thrive despite the challenges they face during separation, fostering resilience and emotional well-being for the future.

]]> Parenting and Mental Health: Nurturing Your Child’s Emotional Wellbeing https://www.thenewhopemhcs.com/parenting-and-mental-health-nurturing-your-childs-emotional-wellbeing/ Mon, 15 Apr 2024 07:16:51 +0000 https://www.thenewhopemhcs.com/?p=7782

Parenting and Mental Health: Nurturing Your Child's Emotional Wellbeing

Parenting is a profound journey filled with joys, challenges, and responsibilities. One of the most critical aspects of raising a child is nurturing their emotional wellbeing. Children’s mental health is intricately linked to their overall development and future success. As parents, caregivers, or guardians, it’s essential to prioritize strategies that support and foster your child’s emotional health.

 

In this blog post, we’ll explore various aspects of parenting and mental health, offering practical tips and insights to help you navigate this journey with confidence and compassion.

Understanding Children's Mental Health:

Children’s mental health is a critical aspect of their overall wellbeing, influencing their emotional, social, and cognitive development. As parents, understanding the basics of mental health is crucial for providing effective support and guidance to our children.

 

Mental health encompasses a wide spectrum of emotions, thoughts, and behaviors that impact how children perceive and interact with the world around them. From everyday stressors to significant life changes, children experience a range of emotions that shape their mental health.

Recognizing Signs of Emotional Distress:

As parents, it’s essential to be vigilant and observant of any signs indicating that your child may be struggling with their mental health. These signs can manifest in various ways, including changes in behavior, mood swings, difficulty sleeping, withdrawal from activities they once enjoyed, or a decline in academic performance.

 

If you notice any of these signs in your child, it’s essential to take them seriously and seek support from mental health counselors or professionals specializing in children’s mental health. Mental health counseling can provide valuable insights and interventions to help your child navigate their emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

 

Mental health counselors are trained professionals who specialize in helping individuals, including children, address mental health challenges and build resilience. They can work with you and your child to identify underlying issues, develop coping strategies, and provide ongoing support throughout the healing process.

 

By recognizing the signs of emotional distress and seeking support from mental health counselors, you can play a proactive role in nurturing your child’s emotional wellbeing and helping them thrive. Remember that prioritizing your child’s mental health is an investment in their future happiness and success.

Building a Strong Parent-Child Relationship:

A strong and nurturing parent-child relationship lays the foundation for promoting positive mental health in children. It’s not just about providing for their physical needs; it’s about creating a deep, emotional connection that fosters trust and security.

 

One of the most effective ways to strengthen this bond is by spending quality time together. Engage in activities that your child enjoys and make time for meaningful conversations. Listen actively to their thoughts and feelings without judgment, and validate their emotions by acknowledging and accepting them.

 

Communication is key in building a strong parent-child relationship. Encourage open and honest communication, where your child feels comfortable expressing themselves without fear of criticism or punishment. Create a safe space where they can share their joys, fears, and concerns openly.

 

By fostering a secure attachment bond through positive interactions and mutual respect, you can help your child develop resilience and coping skills that will serve them well throughout their lives.

Promoting Emotional Literacy:

Emotional literacy is a crucial skill that empowers children to understand and manage their emotions effectively. By promoting emotional literacy, you equip your child with essential tools for navigating the complexities of their inner world and interpersonal relationships.

 

Encourage your child to identify and label their feelings, teaching them that it’s okay to experience a wide range of emotions. Use everyday situations as opportunities to discuss emotions and their impact. For example, if your child is feeling sad about saying goodbye to a friend, validate their feelings and talk about healthy ways to cope with sadness.

 

Model healthy emotional expression yourself by demonstrating how to manage your own emotions in constructive ways. Children learn by example, so showing them how to express emotions calmly and assertively sets a positive precedent.

 

Provide opportunities for your child to practice expressing their feelings through various mediums such as art, journaling, or verbal communication. These creative outlets allow them to explore and process their emotions in a safe and supportive environment.

 

By promoting emotional literacy, you empower your child to develop self-awareness, empathy, and resilience, essential skills for managing stress and building healthy relationships throughout their lives.

Seeking Professional Help When Needed:

As parents, we strive to provide the best possible support for our children’s mental health. However, there may come a time when our efforts alone are not sufficient, and seeking professional help becomes necessary. It’s essential to recognize that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

 

If you notice persistent or severe symptoms of emotional distress in your child, such as prolonged sadness, anxiety, or behavioral changes, don’t hesitate to reach out to pediatricians, therapists, or counselors for assistance. These professionals have the expertise and resources to assess your child’s needs and provide appropriate interventions.

 

Pediatricians can offer guidance and referrals to mental health specialists, while therapists and counselors can provide therapeutic support tailored to your child’s specific concerns. Whether it’s through individual therapy, family therapy, or other forms of intervention, seeking professional help early can make a significant difference in your child’s wellbeing.

 

Remember that you’re not alone in this journey, and there are resources available to support you and your child every step of the way. By taking proactive steps to address your child’s mental health needs, you’re investing in their long-term happiness and success.

Conclusion:

In the journey of parenting, nurturing your child’s emotional wellbeing is paramount. As we’ve explored in this blog, parenting and mental health are deeply interconnected, and prioritizing strategies to support your child’s emotional health is vital.

By focusing on building strong parent-child relationships, promoting emotional literacy, and creating a supportive environment, you lay the groundwork for your child to thrive emotionally and psychologically. Remember that every child is unique, so it’s essential to approach parenting with patience, flexibility, and compassion.

 

At The New Hope Mental Health clinic, we understand the importance of addressing children’s mental health needs with care and expertise. Our team of dedicated professionals is here to support you and your child on this journey towards emotional wellness. Together, we can create a world where every child has the opportunity to reach their full potential and lead fulfilling lives.

]]> Navigating Adult ADHD in New York: Finding the Right Doctor to Assess Your Symptoms https://www.thenewhopemhcs.com/navigating-adult-adhd-in-new-york-finding-the-right-doctor-to-assess-your-symptoms/ Mon, 03 Apr 2023 01:00:35 +0000 https://www.thenewhopemhcs.com/?p=4713

Navigating Adult ADHD in New York: Finding the Right Doctor to Assess Your Symptoms.

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If you’re an adult living in New York who suspects you may have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), you’re probably feeling overwhelmed. It’s not easy to find the right doctor to assess your symptoms, and navigating the many options available can feel daunting. Fortunately, the resources available in New York can help you find a qualified specialist who can help you understand what you’re going through and develop a plan of action. With the right doctor and the right treatment plan, you can get the help you need to manage your ADHD and live a more productive life.

Overview of ADHD in Adults.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a common brain disorder that is usually diagnosed in childhood, but can continue into adulthood. It is characterized by difficulty paying attention, difficulty controlling behavior, and hyperactivity. It can cause difficulty with school, work, and relationships and can have a significant impact on quality of life. Adults with ADHD may experience impulsivity, restlessness, difficulty organizing tasks, problems with relationships, and difficulty focusing on tasks.
It’s important to understand that ADHD is a neurological disorder, not a character flaw or a sign of laziness. It is caused by a combination of genetics and environmental factors, and it is possible to manage the symptoms with lifestyle changes and medications. When looking for a doctor to assess your symptoms, it is important to find one who is knowledgeable and experienced in dealing with adult ADHD.

What to Look For in an ADHD Doctor?​

When looking for an ADHD doctor, you should look for one who is knowledgeable and experienced in diagnosing and treating adult ADHD. It is important to find a doctor who is willing to listen to your concerns and take the time to understand your symptoms. You should also look for a doctor who is knowledgeable about the latest treatments and medications for adult ADHD.
The doctor should also be open to discussing lifestyle changes, such as exercise, stress management, and diet, that can help you manage your symptoms. It is also important to find a doctor who is comfortable talking about emotions and mental health, as these can be closely linked to ADHD.

Finding the Right Specialist in New York.

Finding the right specialist in New York can be a challenge, but there are a few ways to start your search. The first is to ask your primary care doctor for a referral. Your primary care doctor may be able to recommend a specialist in your area who is knowledgeable about adult ADHD.
Another option is to search online for ADHD specialists in your area. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has a website that lists certified ADHD specialists in the United States, including those in New York. You can also search for ADHD specialists on the websites of local hospitals and clinics.

Understanding Your Diagnosis and What it Means.

Once you’ve found the right specialist, it’s important to understand what your diagnosis means. Your doctor will explain the diagnosis and what it means for you in terms of symptoms, treatments, and lifestyle changes. It is important to understand the diagnosis so that you can make informed decisions about how to manage your symptoms.
Your doctor may also talk to you about how your family and lifestyle may be affecting your symptoms. It’s important to be open and honest with your doctor about any lifestyle changes you may need to make in order to manage your symptoms.

Common Treatments for Adults with ADHD.

Once you understand your diagnosis, you and your doctor can develop a treatment plan that is tailored to your specific needs. Common treatments for adults with ADHD include medications, lifestyle changes, psychotherapy, and support groups.
Medications are often prescribed to help manage symptoms, such as stimulants and non-stimulants. Stimulants are the most common type of medication used to treat ADHD, and they can help improve concentration, reduce impulsivity, and improve attention. Non-stimulants can also be used to treat ADHD, and they work by increasing the amount of certain chemicals in the brain.
Lifestyle changes, such as regular exercise, a healthy diet, and stress management, can also be helpful in managing your symptoms. In addition, psychotherapy can help you learn how to better manage your symptoms and develop coping strategies for difficult situations. Support groups can be a great resource for adults with ADHD, as they provide a safe space to discuss your experiences with others who understand what you’re going through.

Common Medications for Adults with ADHD.

Common medications prescribed for adults with ADHD include stimulants and non-stimulants. Stimulants are the most common type of medication used to treat ADHD and they work by increasing the amount of certain chemicals in the brain. Stimulants can help improve concentration, reduce impulsivity, and improve attention. Common stimulants prescribed for adults with ADHD are Adderall, Ritalin, and Concerta.

Non-stimulants are another type of medication used to treat ADHD, and they work by increasing the amount of certain chemicals in the brain. Non-stimulants can help improve concentration, reduce impulsivity, and improve attention. Common non-stimulants prescribed for adults with ADHD are Strattera, Intuniv, and Kapvay.

Managing Your ADHD with Lifestyle Changes.

In addition to medications, making lifestyle changes can also help you manage your ADHD symptoms. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, and stress management can all help to reduce symptoms. Exercise can help improve concentration and focus, while a healthy diet can help reduce impulsivity and improve attention. Stress management techniques such as yoga, meditation, and deep breathing can help to reduce anxiety and improve focus.
It can also be helpful to establish a regular routine. Creating a schedule and sticking to it can help you stay organized and on track. Additionally, getting enough sleep and avoiding distractions can help to improve concentration and focus.

Resources Available in New York for Adults with ADHD.

There are a number of resources available in New York for adults with ADHD. The New York State Department of Health has an online resource guide that provides information about ADHD and resources for adults with ADHD. Additionally, the ADHD Coalition of New York provides information, support, and resources for adults with ADHD.
Finally, there are a number of support groups for adults with ADHD in New York. These support groups provide a safe space to discuss your experiences with others who understand what you’re going through.

Conclusion -

Navigating adult ADHD in New York can be challenging, but with the right resources and the right doctor, you can get the help you need to manage your symptoms and live a more productive life. Finding the right specialist is key, and it’s important to find a doctor who is knowledgeable and experienced in diagnosing and treating adult ADHD. With the right diagnosis and treatment plan, you can take control of your symptoms and live a more fulfilling life.

]]> A Guide to Parallel Parenting: 10 Tips to Support Your Child https://www.thenewhopemhcs.com/a-guide-to-parallel-parenting/ Mon, 27 Mar 2023 05:21:21 +0000 https://www.thenewhopemhcs.com/?p=4473

A Guide to Parallel Parenting: 10 Tips to Support Your Child.

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After divorce, anger continues to plague a relationship that was once filled with love, especially if the divorce was initiated in an environment where one partner did not believe the other was serious. When anger follows, the only person at risk of injury is the child or children who continue to yearn for each others’ care, attention, affection, and validation. Putting it simply, children always want their parents to be together. Their brain does not permit them to understand the abstract implication of your conflict.

 

Parallel parenting is the best approach to parenting when co-parenting is not practical. Most parents tell themselves they can co-parent but fail miserably because of lingering misery due to the divorce. Parallel parenting is where separated or divorced parents can work together toward supporting their children. Through parallel parenting, both parents are involved in the child’s life but not each other’s. Communication remains key, like in any relationship; however, with parallel parenting, it is less emotional yet more directed towards the child and not each other. 

How does parallel parenting work?

A parallel parenting arrangement involves the joint custody of children between separated parents with clear boundaries. There is very little interaction between parents, but there is a clear plan for what is best for the child. Parallel parenting plans allow parents to spend time with their children without the risk of interference from the other parent. By developing clear guidelines for the logistics of the arrangement, parents can spend time with their children without interference. It is usually done through email, text messages, or mediators to allow each parent to distance themselves from the other, especially where domestic violence is involved, or there is a high level of conflict between the parents.

 

Both parents experience more independence and space in parenting their children this way. It is especially helpful when parents are engaged in an acrimonious separation or divorce, and their child’s wellbeing is at stake. Divorced or separated parents may find it difficult to parent their children without constant negative feedback, interference, or interruptions from the other parent. Children benefit from a less stressful environment when each person sets their own house rules and determines their parenting style.

Parallel Parenting: What Are the Benefits?

When joint custody is awarded, the child must feel safe and secure with both parents. By creating a parallel parenting plan, each parent can create an environment where the child and parent can interact without the other parent interfering. It can result in a much more satisfying experience for everyone if each parent focuses on the relationship with the child. In addition to making life easier for adults, parallel parenting can make life easier for children.

 

Parallel parenting has several key benefits for children, including:

  • The conflict between parents is less likely to occur
  • Routines with both parents that are consistent and predictable
  • Both parents feel more secure
  • Emotional and behavioral problems are less likely to occur
  • Higher grades and more consistent performance in the classroom
  • A greater focus on the child’s well being from the parents.

What are the downsides of parallel parenting?

It might unintentionally cause the child to feel disconnected from both parents, even though parallel parenting allows them to have significant independence from each other. When parents communicate negative messages to their children, this is especially true. Additionally, when parents disagree on equitable time sharing with the child, especially when it is unclear from custodial documents, parallel parenting can be more difficult to manage.

 

Often, a parent demands spending time with their child regardless of their parenting competency after a separation or divorce. Parallel parenting agreements may put children at risk in cases of suspected child abuse. Supervised visitation may be the only safe option in which abuse has occurred. In any case, the custodial parent must make the best decision they believe will be in the child’s best interest. When in doubt, it is best to get the assistance of a licensed mental health professional to help you process your thoughts and feelings regarding this important decision.

When to Consider Parallel Parenting?

Parallel parenting focuses on the child’s wellbeing, which should always be the parent’s primary concern. There are several situations in which parallel parenting may be beneficial within a family.

Families may benefit from parallel parenting if:

  • Separation-related grudges or hostility exist between parents.
  • Inability to hold civil conversations between parents
  • One parent can’t allow their child to spend time with their ex without constantly calling or texting them for updates.
  • Ongoing disrespect for boundaries, the other parent, effective communication, and willingness to work together as parents.

As a general reminder, parallel parenting is no longer appropriate when child abuse is suspected. In cases of suspected abuse by the other parent, reasonable steps must be taken with the appropriate agency and inform the relevant legal representatives.

Parallel Parenting vs. Co-Parenting.

Co-parenting differs greatly from parallel parenting. Couples who co-parent work together to develop shared parenting plans for their children. The parents work together to ensure consistency across both homes for the child regarding behavior expectations, rules, discipline, and daily routines. Children’s issues are discussed between parents, negotiated, and shared decision-making occurs between parents. Couples display mutual respect and work as a team to ensure stability and support for their children. Parents can pursue their independent interests yet put their children’s needs first when the time arises. 

 

Parents in parallel parenting do not collaborate and have strict boundaries regarding Communication. In addition to making decisions alone, parents do not “check-in” with one another when they have children. In parallel parenting, detailed parenting plans clearly outline pick-up times, locations, and schedules. Parents refrain from direct communication and do not interfere or comment on the other parent’s parenting behaviors.

How to Create a Parallel Parenting Plan?

Parallel parenting plans can be difficult to create. Setting clear rules from the start allows you to focus on parenting your child instead of arguing with your ex-partner. Parallel parenting plans should be documented and filed with both parents’ legal representatives if necessary. By putting it in writing, there is no room to waver on what you “thought” the other parent agreed to in the plan. 

 

A communication book can be helpful for some parents. This is where parents record information about their child’s day, health, or behavior. The communication book travels with the child between parents. Both parents can stay informed about what their child is doing when they are not in their custody. The communication book serves as a “safe space” where only information about the child is entered; it is not used to communicate negative feelings or thoughts toward the other parent.

 

Clearly state the dates, times, and locations of the transfer of custody of the child when creating the agreement. Expectations about consistency in children’s routines–from bedtimes to school attendance to extracurricular activities and everything in between– must be clearly stated in the plan.

 

Parallel parenting plans should include the following:

  • A formal schedule for the child’s custodial care
  • Holiday/vacation schedules
  • Details regarding transportation/pic
  • up/drop-off sites
  • The decision-making process regarding the child’s schooling and extracurricular activities, such as clubs or athletics
  • The decision-making process and contingencies associated with medical care
  • Expectations for Communication in the event of an accident or delay
  • Consequences for not abiding by the plan

10 Tips for Successful Parallel Parenting.

1.Treat like a formal binding agreement.
You must approach the parallel parenting agreement as if it were the most important business agreement you have ever negotiated and signed. You must be able to find answers to virtually all of your questions regarding your child’s care in this agreement, for example, who has custody and when; what exchange point will be used to transfer custody; what happens when your child gets sick or needs emergency care; is bedtime flexible or strictly mandated; etc. Share a copy of your agreement with a trusted member of your support network and your legal representative. As well as protecting your decisions, this document also covers your child’s welfare. As you hold your child’s other parent accountable after it has been written and signed, hold yourself accountable.

2. Outline any consequences if the agreement is violated.
Consequences should address any breach of the agreement. For example, suppose the child is not returned at the specified time. In that case, law enforcement personnel may be contacted, as may cancellation of visiting rights for a certain period if the parent fails to appear on the scheduled date. Despite your ex’s attempts to make you trust them, don’t let them dissuade you from stipulating consequences if they get it wrong.

3. Use the Plan as a Guide.
Follow the parallel parenting plan no matter how strong your emotions toward the other parent might be. A parallel parenting plan minimizes emotional engagement between parents and focuses on what is fair and in the child’s best interest. Our perspective becomes muddled when we get tangled up in our emotions, and we may lose sight of how our emotions negatively affect our children.

4. Maintain Established Boundaries.
Healthy boundaries are crucial to every relationship, whether it’s between friends, family, or colleagues at work. Indeed, no relationship is sustainable without boundaries. To ensure a parallel parenting plan is successful, boundaries are especially important. Resist the urge to “check in” on your child when they are with your ex. This is an important boundary that must be observed. Your ex must do their best to uphold this boundary too. It is essential to set boundaries so that your ex knows where you and your responsibilities begin and where theirs end.

5. Keep Communication to a Minimum.
Parental roles are clarified in parallel parenting agreements and communication frequency and methods. By eliminating conflict between parents, children are not exposed to any other dysfunction. Children do not enjoy witnessing parental conflict. Separation enables healthier parenting practices to take hold once a couple determines separation is necessary. Communicate with your ex only when necessary and as agreed in the parallel parenting agreement, you have established.

6. Your Child’s Welfare Must Come First.
Remember, most children want their parents to be together. Separation and divorce are forms of trauma that can negatively impact your child. This means you never give your child reason to mistrust their other parent and don’t communicate negative messages about them to your child. Do your best to keep your children out of the crosshair of your discontent with your ex. Your child will likely experience confusion and anxiety due to these practices, leading to a regression in behavior and problems in school.

7. Every child is an individual.
It is unnecessary for your child to reflect your feelings about your ex, just as you would not necessarily want them to reflect your ex’s feelings about you. It’s important to teach your children respect for their other parents because they absorb everything they’re exposed to. By doing this, your child will not feel that they are wrong to feel affection for both parents.

8. Don’t be a Bully.
Embrace the fact that there are many ways to do parenting “right” and that each parent can be successful in their own way. You must believe that your ex has their child’s best interest at heart just like you have their best interest at heart. Children tend to resent a parent for trying to hurt their other parent if they can’t see your negative viewpoint of your ex. It would help if you didn’t try to tell your ex how they should parent their child but rather let them make their own decisions. Having clear directives regarding when and what type of communication can be shared between parents helps keep them from trying to give unsolicited advice or feedback to the other parent.

9. Your Child Needs the Support of Both Parents.
Recognize that your child deserves to develop deep relationships with both parents and both sides of their family. Children need all the support and love they can get in life. By unfairly limiting the time they spend with the other parent or their extended family, your actions harm your ex and negatively affect your child. Children, like adults, have a huge capacity to love others, and you won’t lose any love your child feels for you by supporting their opportunities to get to know their extended family.

10. Alert Appropriate Authorities When Necessary.
If you suspect your child’s safety is at risk, alert the appropriate authorities. Personally confronting your ex may put you at risk of harm or danger. Make a call to the reporting agencies, i.e., CPS, legal representatives, and your support system for support. If your relationship with the other parent was high-conflict or involved threats of harm to you or your child, ensure you have someone present with you at drop-off and pick-up meetings.

Is Therapy Helpful When Parallel Parenting?

No matter how a relationship ends, it is a significant transition. This becomes more of a concern when children are involved. It takes time to recover from the pain of a breakup. Truth be told, your life may never be quite what you would like it to be when the divorce is finalized. However, no matter how much distance you intentionally try to put between yourself and the other parent, your child will tie you together for life. Notice it is you who feels a particular way about your partner. It may not necessarily be the same for them. Indeed, their behavior may be in response to your resentment towards them. Nevertheless, therapy can help you deal with the emotions related to the breakup itself and help you manage the shift into parallel parenting. As time goes on, you can work towards co-parenting.

 

The New Hope Mental Health Counseling Services provides an objective, culturally competent perspective on your situation and can help you cope with the challenges you face as you master parallel parenting. Your child may benefit from therapy, too, if they are exhibiting negative reactions to the parallel parenting practice. Remember that therapy isn’t only about solving problems; it also helps prevent problems in the future. A saying observed at The New Hope is, ” You cannot regulate a child without regulating the parents.”

When parents cannot be civil to one another or treat each other with respect, parallel parenting can be the best path to moving forward. Each parent can choose how to parent their child when their child is in their custody. The creation of a clear plan is especially important because it allows parents to detach from their unhealthy relationship with each other and put their focus on their children, which is right where it should be.

Clinton Clovis

Clinton Clovis

LMHC, CCTS-F, CAMS-II

About the Author

Clinton Clovis is currently finishing his PhD in Psychology with an emphasis in Mental Health Administration and Trauma.

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